(1) Don’t Make Important Decisions Without Thinking Them Through
When a marriage ends, spouses and their children often face a perfect storm of stressful events: new living arrangements, parenting schedules, and of course, decisions about property and money. The emotions caused by these changes can make it difficult for spouses to understand the legal process of divorce, and may even impair their ability to make sound decisions. Getting through a divorce may be easier if you’re informed about the process before it begins.
Having a date that the relationship ended is key and very important going forward. The date of separation will be referenced in many circumstances as you proceed and it can be a point of contention in future negotiations. Our suggestion is that you have a direct conversation or communicate in some way where you state very clearly to your ex that the relationship is OVER. It is then equally important to note the date in a notebook, diary or in your phone for future reference.
Many life-changing decisions come up during a divorce. For example, you may have to determine whether you need to sell the family home. Resist the impulse to make a quick decision or agree to something just to get the case over with. When making important choices, it’s essential that you consider the potential consequences.
(2) Self Care, SELF CARE, Self Care
It is said that separation and divorce are in the top five most difficult and stressful events someone can endure in their lifetime.
To keep your head above water, to be able to get out of bed in the morning and to just breathe it is imperative you do everything in your power to keep your feet firmly on the ground. Surround yourself with your tightest circle of family and friends who will be there when you fall, to lift you up. You Do You and focus on things that bring you joy and take extra care of your well being whether it’s exercise, diet, sleep, or personal care.
(3) Your Children’s Needs are the Top Priority
You may no longer be a couple but you are still a family. In the early phase of separation you need to define what the children’s needs are depending on the stage of their lives. Who they will live with and will equal parenting time be shared?
When circumstances allow for it, children need a mom and a dad. There are all different scenarios but a list of what your children’s needs should be discussed in an open and honest dialogue to achieve the best interests of your kids. Regardless if things are contentious between you and your spouse, putting your children’s needs first is paramount.
(4) Get a clear understanding of what your Assets are
Maybe you did not oversee the finances, but it is important at this time to get a clear picture of what that looks like from your assets, debts and financial resources.
Arizona is a community property state and everything will be divided 50/50, but there may be assets or debt you are unaware of and that information will need to be uncovered, organized and pulled together so that it can be properly divided.
- An asset is where something is owned.
- A liability is where a debt is owed or there is a financial vulnerability.
- A financial resource may be a source of revenue that you and your spouse/partner have an interest in.
This is something that will likely be very overwhelming and you may need to dedicate a great deal of time to collect, organize and evaluate your assets. un⧫tied can help you manage as little or as much as you need during this process.
(5) un⧫tied is here for you and to help you along this journey.
Co-founders Amy Bloomberg Corben and Sheri Heitner-Anderson will meet with you to discuss your separation and divorce goals, timelines, resources needed and guidance.
From personal experience and from helping family and friends through this process, we know what it takes to help you get on your way to living your ‘Next Best Life’.